This morning I tossed the “b”...I was approaching the basket on Hole 4. A par 3. My initial drive was sweet. Walking toward my disc for my second shot, I guessed I was about twenty feet or so from a birdie.
I’m not very good at judging distances.
“Birdie” was a lot bit closer than twenty feet.
It was the biggest pigeon I had ever seen. A fat grey hawk of a pigeon. A Texas sized pigeon! I wasn’t sure if the initial swoop at my noggin was deliberate so the first feeling was excitement. It was thrilling a blast of air over my head.
Ok I lied, my first feeling was, “Holy Caca!” But excitement was second.
Fear third.
Terror forth.
Then excitement again. For a second I had a thought…“Maybe some dude with a video camera has caught my disaster out of the corner of his eye while taping his daughter feeding the ducks by the pond and is getting the whole thing filmed and will send it in to be the winner of the When Animals Attack or American’s Funniest Videos television show and then split the big money with me.”
Back to terror. Turns out the first swoop was intended. So was the second. By now I had my frisbee. A little self-defense. I ducked, holding one arm over my head, waving my disc in the air with the other.
I wonder if birds laugh.
I began to run away from the hole. But not fast enough. Freak pigeon took another dive at me. That’s three. Again I threatened it with my long distance driver and turned toward my vehicle. I sprinted like a bat out of…like Batman out of the Bat Cave.
I stood there stunned staring back at psycho bird soaring over the air space of McKenzie Park’s disc gold hole number four. Watching it glory in its victory.
Suddenly I had a flashback to my shanked approach on hole 1. I missed the basket completely sending my disc spiraling into a pole that happened to be a perch for some lazy bird. I remember thinking, “I bet that bird just crapped itself” and laughed to myself.
Hmm. I think I have a motive.
Was that the bird that attacked me? Was my misfortune a product of revenge? It could have been. Or was that overweight turtledove just a mom or dad guarding its nest of babies?
What do you think? Leave a comment and vote. Pissed-off pigeon payback or parent pigeon protection?
5 comments:
Pissed-off pigeon payback ... or possibly a premeditated pigeon pressuring.
parent pigeon protection
paul quit putting anonymous comments on Matt's blog...
sorry about that..I was informed that paul did not do that...but I do believe that it was pissed-off pigeon payback..that's just how the birds here are
well I think that it was pissed off pigeon but for another reason, because the light was reflecting off of Matt's head and it blinded the bird, therefore the bird couldn't even see where it was going, and it thought that Matt's head was an egg, good goin Matt
-Paul
Post a Comment