"From glory to glory." That's somewhere in the Bible or in a hymn or something, right? I'm not sure what it really means, but I know what I want it to mean. I want it to mean that we are made of the same stuff God is. I believe that when God turned the stars on and filled the oceans, he also made us, and in us, he put a little bit of Himself in. His glory that is. So that when we communicate (God and us), we communicate from Glory to glory (or glory to Glory).
I know that His glory is in me. I know it is, because sometimes it shines out. I've seen it in other people too. But recently I have hidden it. I'm still trying to figure out why, but an idea I found in John Steinbeck's "East of Eden" is helping me understand it. In the story a father desribes his son as "arguing with greatness". He sees in his son "a drive and fear, an advance and a retreat."
I am retreating... I avoid conversations. I don't return my friends phone calls. I've traded running, reading, and writing for video games. I've neglected my family and forgotten my goals. Why? I don't want to be great. I don't want the responsiblity, the pressure. I'm afraid. Afraid that maybe there isn't enough glory in me, that its all too big for me.
So I hide, close my eyes, and ignore all that I love. It doesn't make any sense. I'm made of glorious stuff. We are all made of it. So why do I argue with it? Why am I afraid? I don't know.
"There’s a fire burning inside me, makes the lame walk and the blind to see. Here I am wandering on what I should be. The old earth, the moon, the sun; some wings to rise the dawn" (Stephen Delopoulos).
7 comments:
good to see you writing again!
we all miss you here in indiana and i am glad to see you writting agin i was beginnig to think something was wrong
cameron
dude...you have the potential to shine like the stars that God plugged in...so remember that which you said here...stay alive and moving forward...
Matt, I never really got to know you that well but I have three words that you should know that come from my heart and the heart of God: I love you. above all things, He loves you.
i am so impressed with your honesty!! thank you for beginning the journey back towards your heart on some level......
i wish we were drinking a holiday time starbucks mocha together.
you're missed!
manning states that God's prences has once been more real to him than the chair he was sitting in, when the Word ricocheted like lightning in every corner of my his soul, when the storm of desire carried him to places he had never visited. but then there were other times when the Word was as stale as old ice cream and bland sausage. this is the hand that life plays us, you are not alone, you are not the first, this is a season, a season that will soon pass! the hand of God is on you mightly, even though you can't feel it, your trust must be ruthless and couragess. i tank god for the fruitfull seasons in my life, but more for the valleys, because in hindsight of them I rememeber that i am not alone and they were not in vain! i love you my home biscuit, remember that Christ does more. take it eeeezy
i think that even if you aren't doing a lot to enrich yourself right now, you are enriching the lives of people you touch everyday.
ie: coworkers like me!
you inspire me. you were part of what inspired me to go ahead and take my trip to india. you inspired me to look deeper inside of myself to find my spiritual side, to find out if i had a religion and if so what it is. (you helped inspire me to look and india helped me to find.)
and this is just from the small amount of time i spend with you at work!
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