"From glory to glory." That's somewhere in the Bible or in a hymn or something, right? I'm not sure what it really means, but I know what I want it to mean. I want it to mean that we are made of the same stuff God is. I believe that when God turned the stars on and filled the oceans, he also made us, and in us, he put a little bit of Himself in. His glory that is. So that when we communicate (God and us), we communicate from Glory to glory (or glory to Glory).
I know that His glory is in me. I know it is, because sometimes it shines out. I've seen it in other people too. But recently I have hidden it. I'm still trying to figure out why, but an idea I found in John Steinbeck's "East of Eden" is helping me understand it. In the story a father desribes his son as "arguing with greatness". He sees in his son "a drive and fear, an advance and a retreat."
I am retreating... I avoid conversations. I don't return my friends phone calls. I've traded running, reading, and writing for video games. I've neglected my family and forgotten my goals. Why? I don't want to be great. I don't want the responsiblity, the pressure. I'm afraid. Afraid that maybe there isn't enough glory in me, that its all too big for me.
So I hide, close my eyes, and ignore all that I love. It doesn't make any sense. I'm made of glorious stuff. We are all made of it. So why do I argue with it? Why am I afraid? I don't know.
"There’s a fire burning inside me, makes the lame walk and the blind to see. Here I am wandering on what I should be. The old earth, the moon, the sun; some wings to rise the dawn" (Stephen Delopoulos).
